936. - Chris & Jason

Episode summary: One-on-one pod today: Chris is home from Italy, and Jason is in A. We chat about Jia Tolentino’s microlooting scandal, our Secretary of War's jaw and the packet is in, staging our new White House ballroom, false flags and Scientology speed runs, Drake’s injections and ab dissolvers are settled and ready for the launch of Iceman, and what we need The Boy to deliver next month, the Stagecoach Festival's windy ride, and a temp check on music festivals at large, including FORM in Arcosanti, and a Lake Como scene report from Chris.

com/donetodeath com/themjeans com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit fm/adchoices All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that.

We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone recording in progress? It's Chris Black. I'm just back in New York. The sun is shining. shirts are off in the park things are looking good tj how are you is it hot enough to take the shirt off there already i would say these are seasoned jumpers jump roping in the sun directly so it's a little bit you know it's it's a it's a choice it's 60 degrees but that you know for us that's big big that's big that's good so you just got back from italy yeah yeah i arrived at beautiful newark just two hours ago And I realized I'd never flown internationally into Newark before.

It was a whole new customs experience for me. I was just going to say. Dude, it threw me off, I have to say. But it was very fast. Newark is low-key a sleeper. If it wasn't a United hub, it would be New York's best airport. Also, if it was in New York, the tri-state areas. Best airport. So in Joe Budden's Newark, New Jersey. Yeah, exactly. For international listeners, not everyone knows about Newark, New Jersey. There's not much to know from my few times poking around. So it's a one-pager? It's more of a one-pager.

Exactly. It's a one-sentencer, I think. Airport is all you need. Maybe word. We can go one word. Okay. Okay. Well, welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back into America. You can jump back into the clip economy. where we can do some Whole Foods micro-looting. Dude, I can't wait. And we can show you how to spend it. I can't wait to micro-loot. Dude, imagine making a throwaway comment on a podcast about micro-looting like we've done. I don't know. 15,000 times a piece on this show and having the Daily Mail send photographers to your house and have somebody coming through public records to find out how much your mortgage is.

That's tough, man. That's tough. You know what? I don't usually say this because I don't usually mean it. It does feel like the patriarchy is in play a little bit here. I hate to say it. I hate to say it. I know how much I must hate for you to say it, but I think you and I came to a similar... premonition about this in comparison. Okay. Because we have, like you said, I have admitted to micro-looting the Whole Foods. I would never micro-loot from a small local business. I support those.

No, of course not. Well, you know, for ball, demon slayer, ball Jeff Bezos, I'm okay with taking, you know, ringing up the organic tomato as a regular one or whatever it is I'm doing. These asparagus are coming with me. How about that, Jeff? Yeah, I mean, the ramps become green onions, and I take the pound of flesh, but I feel like you have these agreements with people where it's like, maybe the Delta company as well, you fly a lot. You're flying all the time. You're spending thousands of dollars every year.

You're considered a good person to have if you're in the aero. The airplane industry. Yeah, sure. Do we go to the airport and spend a bunch of money? Yeah. Do we, you know, spend a bunch of money on flights and upgrades and all that shit? Yeah. Do we steal a bottle of water every once in a while? Maybe we... Look, if you're only going to stock smart water alkaline, I'm taking two for one. That's on me, bro. That's your fault, Hudson News. That's not my fault. So let's say you cold email Bezos and he actually writes back because that's totally my luck.

Jeff at com. Jeff at com. His reply is in the subject line, but he still replies back. It counts. And you say, hey, Jeff, would you rather... This guy's spending 30 grand a year on Amazon buying all this shit. He steals $18 worth of shit a month. Do you want us to ban him from Whole Foods for life? He'll say, fuck no. Come on. That's called wastage. That's called spoilage in this game, right? Well, these businesses literally plan for this. This is not something that is like- Do you want $29.50 or do you want zero?

I'm stealing. That's how I look at it. I mean, I think that- But sorry, to go back to the Tolentino of it all, I was thinking like why- Why am I able to talk about Whole Foods micro looting on my public platform? And actually, you know, I get it how I live. I really am doing it. Why can I do it? But, you know, these verbose Karen switching Asian women cannot. Well, you know more about Asian women than I do, so you would have to tell me that. But I think that in this instance, I believe it's because.

The Tolentino, every race has their Tolentino. Oh, 100%. Insert, insert whatever you need to to get the visual. I think actually, which is even darker. Damn, we got to start calling her Quentin Carantino. Sorry. I'm starting to think that it's because she's, no one likes a writer that can buy a $2 million brownstone, especially other writers. Not that the Daily Mail is not the Atlantic. Almost exclusively other writers. Yeah, but I feel like people don't like that. You know what I mean? They don't like her for many reasons. Some justified, some not.

But I think this is a little bit of a witch hunt. Free Gia. Free Gia is what I'm saying. Free Gia. Free the girls. Free the girls. Can a girl just be a human walking witch and not be fucking... Free the humans. Free the humans. Okay, but comparing the patriarchy, so Gia, she's an intelligent, educated woman who did a very hard thing, writes books and gets paid well for them and lives a good life and blah, blah, blah. She's getting her garbage ran through and people taking photos. Her parents are human traffickers, and she escaped.

We're not giving her enough credit. She's a survivor. Yeah. She's a traffic nepo baby, and she flipped that into a writer's career. And it's tough because in immigrant families, there's a lot of pressure to get into the family business. Who's going to take over the shop, as they say, once I head out? a shop over i'm not taking i'm not gonna be a doctor or human trafficker i guess you can be a writer that's fine if that's what you want parents i have decided i'm not going to be a doctor i'm going to be a man repeller i don't know if um so so let's compare her life to let's say a man let's say carrot top in las vegas okay that guy does and says whatever the fuck he wants you know and no one's taking pictures of his this is the problem of his garbage no one's he could do it he could do some really gnarly shit And no one's giving a fuck.

That's because his fans aren't the worst possible liberals that exist on planet Earth. That's the issue. The problem is who your audience is. This is totally... I think Hassan Piker said the same... I think it was with Hassan Piker, I believe, is what she was talking about. I recall Piker said it best. And I don't think Piker... I don't think Piker's stealing fucking... Tabby's, you know what I mean, from the Margiela store, but I bet he's putting some broth in his fucking, his tote bag, you know, occasionally. And I just think that it's, it really does feel like, it really does feel like one of the most, it's a weird, it feels like a weird moral panic thing that I wouldn't necessarily expect.

Like, you guys can't hate all the corporations, want to burn them to the ground and not support them, but then also get mad when somebody who makes more money than you steals fucking sumos once a month. Sumos. You can't have it all. You've got to pick one of these causes. You've got to either hate Bezos or you've got to hate successful writers, I guess, or hate women, which is also a popular choice. Yeah, you can't join a defund the police Facebook group and then give it a thumbs down when somebody lights a cop car on fire.

We've got to pick one side and stick with it. Like you said, the audience is everything. And is it Tolentino's fault for creating this audience of insufferable people? Or did this happen outside of her control? What could she have done to make cooler fans? That's the thing. The problem is when you do something successful, the net is... I mean, that book was a hit. And obviously she writes The New Yorker, which is a very popular weekly magazine. So it's like she's constantly doing stuff. But I think that that book... She just, I don't know, man.

Sometimes people are just deeply, deeply polarizing. And unfortunately, it's usually because it's Lena Dunham shit. They're just being themselves. And you either absolutely hate them or you like them or the secret third thing, you really respect them, but you also hate them. And I think that she falls into that. I think she falls into all of those categories. She still has a house upstate and a $2 million brownstone in some far-flung part of Brooklyn. So she's laughing all the way to the bank. Okay. Well, people who laugh all the way to the bank, let's maybe like an evangelical church person.

you know, that person is making money off of a rabid fan base that they have to, you know, sort of please and appease at all times. Yeah, but that's a lot. You know you're lying. That's the difference. Okay, well, I'm saying, is Gia not lying, but has she, you know, looked into the trick mirror and found out I can find, I want success so bad that I'm going to, you know. I'm instead of like trying to get like great awesome fans I'm gonna go for you know this core group of people because I know that I can grab on to them I want fame and success so much I'm okay if my fan base is a fucking bum bum well I think that no I mean I think the New Yorker comes with a built-in fan base whether you like it or not and and and I know exactly who those people are and a lot of those people are the kind that would it turned their nose up at a, a throwaway shoplifting story on a podcast.

You know what I mean? And the, but I think that the, it's crazy that this is what, cause you know, one side we got this, we got people pissed off at a, a liberal New Yorker writer for stealing, you know, produce. And the other side, we got the secretary of war last night, walking through a, a fake shooting with Coke jaw and no one even cares. You know what I mean? So it's like either say like the way that people are choosing to decide, like, you know what I mean? Like,

No Republicans are talking about the fact that their Secretary of War was gacked out last night when they faked a shooting to get the president's approval rating up. He was able to find a very strong packet in Washington,, despite other efforts. Washington,, and I've definitely done coke there, and I don't remember, but I would imagine that's some of the greatest packet in the United States. Not because of the pipeline from Columbia or anything, just because of the sheer... usage that's happening from people at all levels. And they got money to pay for it because they got to stay up all night.

You know what I mean? They got to finish the bill or whatever they do. Let's roll up this bill so we could finish this bill. And I like that, you know, the pipeline direct from Columbia. That's a How Long Gone exclusive right there. I didn't know that. I didn't want to. No, that's a joke. I don't have any data. You know, I don't have no data on that. But yeah, I mean, free Gia. This is crazy. You guys are fucking idiots. You guys are idiots. Would you have Gia on the pod?

Yeah, I mean, sure. I'm sure she's ignored us for three years. I'm sure at some point when the book was coming out, there was an attempt that was made. I'm sure. I'm sure. Okay, he's sure. I'm not sure, actually, but I'm going to assume. I'm going to assume. that she would turn her nose up at that, you know, unless she had something to promote or unless she wanted to come to a safe space to defend herself for shoplifting. I mean, I'm sure somebody that either she's listening or somebody she knows is listening.

And, you know, the white smoke comes from Trinatown. Oh, my God. Chris Black has become a Gia Tolentino sympathizer, previously poo-pooing. This author asks- I like the book just fine. I think she's fine. I just think that the- No, she's fine. I don't know. I don't know. That's not what I said. That's not what I said. Do not misconstrue me. She's the Ali Wong of the New Yorker, you know, for better or for worse. For better or for worse. I just think this is truly stupid. And I think it's like, this could be literally anyone else and no one would care.

is is what i is what i think tostinos come on the pod we'll chat about it but yeah so let's get into our false flag operation at the press correspondence dinner i i i get why we need the new ballroom now this episode of how long gone is brought to you by a new podcast from the guardian stateside with kai and carter this is covering a lot of our bases jason it's a it's trying to slow down The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world.

And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside.

But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob.

That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool.

The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Exactly. Because you were on the fence about the ballroom. I've always been pro ballroom. I'm a big ballroom guy. Not in a dancing sense, of course.

I mean, in a grand building sense. I mean, if you saw the floor plan, you'd have some pushback as well, just kind of how the things laid out. No, I'm more of a finishes guy. I was more looking into finishes. But the floor plan looks strong from what I saw. More of a doorknob guy. I never think this because this is your role on our show to be the conspiracy theorist. But I do think this is 100% fake. And I've seen some, you know, I had an eight, nine hour flight this morning.

So I've been able to look at Twitter for a little while, let's say. And I have seen a lot of, there's all these like Twitter accounts run by the White House that all tweeted at the exact same time. about the whole thing. There's smoking guns, let's say. Welcome to the algorithm, Chris. Brother Black is here now. I just can't. I just can't. imagine this this is too good right you know what I mean this is a little this is a little like like Erica Kirk like crying leaving I have to go and then the fucking UFC guy being like they told me to get out I didn't fucking get down it's too good it's it's too good it feels it feels it feels more fake than than most things I would say Fetterman being upset that this could affect the dinner service He didn't get his mane yet.

Yo, this said lasagna, and I'm not leaving here until I get my lasagna. I don't care if I got a hole in my fucking leg. I'm getting my lasagna. Reporters stealing bottles of alcohol. I mean, I guess false flag or not, it does seem like we really are so desensitized to events of terror. Ten years ago, imagine a guy with a gun, you know, shots fired. all these secret service agents with crazy machine guns and stuff, people would be on the floor wetting themselves. And now there's like many people, like shots are fired.

It's a joke. It's literally a joke. And everyone's like, man, this is, lol, this is crazy. We're in one of those things. Also, the White House Correspondence Center used to be like a glamorous, like serious event. that people wanted to go to. It was attended by A-list celebrities. It would be hosted by late-night luminaries, legendary comedians. Colbert. Yeah, this is like a real thing that has been... Now it's a place to have a fake shooting. And I don't... That didn't happen. That happened, obviously, since he's been in office. But it's a pretty extreme...

This used to be a real thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, it was the moment where every year, It wasn't a roast of the president, but we could all get together, get drunk, and all just share a nice meal with the enemy. When Clinton's up there, he's chuckling his ass off after three glasses of white. He doesn't give a fuck what you're saying about him and his top. It's fine. I don't believe any of this. I don't know what's going on, but it did feel... You're right. For a shooting at the White House, it did feel not super urgent or surprising.

Like the way people were talking about it was not alarmist, to your point. Like it was very much like, oh, shit, man. Oh, nobody's hurt. All right, we're good. They kept going. They continued the part. They had an after party. So is it like everyone used to not really be suspect of these things? It was just like, man, this is a tragedy. There'd be these mass shootings at schools and hospitals and government buildings all the time, and people would be like, damn, this is crazy. It happens so often. We don't even care anymore.

We don't say that anymore. They still keep happening, but now it's a false flag. Now it's an operation. Now it's a government insider thingy. You know what I mean? No, 100%. So are we being trained to be conspiracy theorists because it sort of gamifies the end of our world? I don't, I just think this is, there's just too many. And we can bet on it. There's just too many red flags on this for me. There's just too much stuff that's like, this is a little too good. I don't think that anyone over there is smart enough to orchestrate the shooting that clips him in the ear and he bleeds, but he doesn't get hurt.

That's too good. Like that's too good. You know what I mean? No, it's not. That's an easy, that's just a little squib in the ear. Somebody hits the button on the iPhone app, just pops it. I mean, sure. But I'm saying that's a further reach than this, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Like that whole thing being, this is a closed environment that is controlled by the government. This wasn't like a fucking rally in the middle of a field. That's the thing. So it's just, it's crazy, dude. It's crazy.

Cause it really did. I got the alert on my phone, glanced at it, put it back down. I didn't even like, didn't even click the New York times alert. I just read the, that's how, people don't care. No one cares anymore. Partly because they don't mind if he dies and partly because I think people, you're right, people are so desensitized to it. It's just like, whatever. Yeah, where they're just like, the thing that happens every day happened again and it wasn't me. Thank God. And then like 10 years later, you're like, it's probably never going to be me.

So, you know, on with the life. Yeah. But I like the angle that, you know, if it was a false flag event. Is Trump the only person in the world who is like really dead set on making sure this White House ballroom is built isn't it already like being built or they like put a stop to it right there's got to be some i mean he's he's not doing that to preserve his legacy there's definitely like his brother's uncle's construction company is doing it and he's getting a 30 kickback or whatever which i you know i'm fine with that this is a lot to a lot to orchestrate to give you know billionaires another 17 million you know but he's not he's not a billionaire that's the thing he's not he don't have that kind of bread I don't believe he has any kind of bread.

I mean, I know he's breaking the rules and running business while president, which is illegal and whatever. The president makes a very small sum of money, salary-wise, considering what the job title is. He makes about as much as a mid- to high-level podcaster. I don't think he's got bread. I think he's over-leveraged. I think he's underwater. And I think that any... any million this is this is the overarching theme of this podcast everybody wants more everybody wants more money and if they don't they're lying especially don't donald trump's not even lying he's making it very clear that's what he wants well he's not even i guess i guess my point is if he is a the oligarch of the most uh large and powerful country in the world there's got to be much better ways to use that evil power to make a lot of money than this elaborate scheme for like You know, the cement union workers to build a building.

But I don't think this is an elaborate. I think I think that nothing he does is I think it's everything he does is a scheme. So it's sort of like another scheme. I mean, it's not it's not like like in his mind, it's like, oh, yeah, whatever. I mean, you know, it's just I think everything's a scheme or a scam. The desperation to be liked, though, is pretty amazing. If this was, in fact, fake, and the only thing it could possibly do is improve an approval rating, if you're going to those links to steal money or siphon money or skim money, I'm with that.

That's fine. But going the distance to be liked at this point, bro, the ship has sailed. There's no more like left. You're not winning anybody over. I want to believe that he's so senile. and advanced in his senior thinking that he, he like truly loves ballrooms and like extravagant galas so much. Like that's what really like, that's the, what do you, the impact he wants to leave on the world is like, we need to. you know, have more balls and stuff. We need to queen out more or whatever it is.

So like he's so, and everyone has to go along with it because he's a president and he, you know, when the old person in the family has like a harebrained idea like that, everyone goes along with it just because it's like, eh, you know, they're about to die. Let him have this thing, you know, whatever. But you put that on top of him being the president. And now we all really have to go along with Peapaw's ballroom idea. I mean, I like all of these theories are good for me. All of these theories are good and fun.

If he just loves ornate ballrooms and like ugly gold shit, that's funny. If he's doing this to fucking, yeah, steal money, like work with the mob on construction. Or what if, from a macro, not a micro, like what if Trump really does know he talked to the aliens and he knows that ballroom culture will save the planet? Believe it or not, I know it's weird, but... you know you guys are gonna get it in a hundred years you're gonna be real happy i built this ballroom i mean he i think he could believe that like trump was all right it would be like if you know michael jackson didn't make any good music until the last year of his of his molestation career it's really cool it's it's it's really cool because i believe that donald trump both believes every single thing he says and does and doesn't believe every single thing he says and does.

I've never seen anything like it where it's like, I don't know, man. He believes it, he doesn't believe it. They set him up to one of those brain scanning machines and every doctor's like, I don't know, man. I don't know. What is it reading? And he's like, everything. All of it. He does the Vanity Fair lie detector test with his co-star, and it's just flatline the whole time. I don't know. I can get nothing on this guy. There's just a line of old lie detector machines with smoke coming out of them.

Pulled over to the side of the road. Yeah, he went through another one. He's running through these things. We changed the batteries and everything. He's blowing through these guys, so we can't keep him under control. No, I mean, it is pretty interesting how fast we've moved past it, but I think that, like, I mean, the capacity for us to hold anything to hold our attention, including the threat of the president being killed, is unable to hold our attention as a society. That's honestly the biggest takeaway for me. But also, I mean, there was also a substack fight.

I guess I didn't read the actual details yet, but one substacker tried to fight another substacker, and then he went to his hotel and took a picture of his hotel. He's like, I'm outside, come outside. Like on some real, and they're calling it the substack fight. I mean, a bunch of people I know were there. It's at the dinner, so I need to tap in, not to check on their safety, but to hear about this subsac story because they're tweeting through it, so they're fine. Yeah. But I need more details on this because it's pretty interesting.

We need some all birds on the ground. Who is talking about what? Who is doing what? Is Emily Sundberg throwing hands with a Latina outside the Hampton Inn? I don't know. Imagine Emily Sundberg tripping Erica Kirk or something. You know what I mean? Just on some high school burn type shit. Bitch, let's sit down, bitch. Sunberg and Woe Vicky pulling each other's weave out? That's nice. Oh, it was crazy down there, man. She got the exclusive. Woe Vicky was wearing a weave. I'll do five bucks a month for that now.

No, I mean, honestly. That's the thing about this is that people like Emily should be there because they're the only ones. Because New York Times has to keep it above board because they have to report on it. They haven't been going for like 20 years. They have to report on the media side of it only. Whereas someone like Emily could literally go down there and be like, yeah, these Republican chicks were doing meth. Fucking Dana White tried to grab my ass. Fucking I saw Erica Kirk in the bathroom using fucking, you know.

I just think that there needs to be people that are. infiltrating to get the real story. Who's going to cover the mess? Who's going to cover the real good stuff? Not these political sub-stackers who are just there to be cunty to each other. We need somebody down there in a look, having cocktails, just listening. Just taking it all in, man. Just soaking it up. His annual subs aren't even as good as his... He only has 73,000 subs. So then he said, I've got... I checked the subs after. I'm going to leave him a note.

I'm going to leave him a note in his footer. Don't make me post to notes because I will live from the dinner. I will. Don't fuck with me. Was the guy... I only saw a video of the guy and apparently all the shots were just like shots from the Secret Service, not of him. And it looked like he was just like trying to run through security and then a bunch of Secret Service people pulled guns out and I guess... So all that is to say, we don't know what this guy was...

trying to do we don't know if he was trying to he could bro he could have thought this was the mark jacobs show and he was trying to protest the fur we don't fucking know okay well here's where i'm going the only footage we don't we don't have any footage of him you know firing at the president or or the you know any high level officials he's just running really fast through a hotel hallway 11 fucking trained seals you know brandish their weapons and this guy's hogtied on the floor So was he just doing a Scientology building speed run of the press secretary dinner?

Dude, if I don't see a gun, I'm going to have to assume so. I thought you were going marathon training, but that was in London. So I didn't know where you were going. Yeah, he's sub two. he got it i don't know if he's doing sub two but i mean it's impressive i i it could honestly he was wearing adidas i saw another the downfall of nike continues he had the five he had the 500 um yeah i i don't uh yeah and they're not even available yet how did you get those you know big brothers watch if there's no gun if there's no gun it's a speed run There's no other way.

What else can we chalk it up to? Speed running and TMZ switching to shaming politicians being gay at Disney World while the government crumbles. It's the same thing as young teens on kick wearing anime furry costumes and gooning and doing donuts in their car and fucking whatever. Galaxy gas. They're taking all that negative energy. and then funneling it into Scientology. But the problem is when you're speed running a government building, they will shoot you dead versus... They will happily shoot you. If you speed run the church... Yeah, they're going to, yeah.

So are we going to speed run the Vatican? Are we going to speed run the Jewish mattress tunnels? Are we going to speed run the evangelical mega churches? Are we going to speed run the Pentagon? You know, where does it end? That's easy. Speed run Conde Nast. That's easy shit, bro. I'll put on my Nike alpha flies. I'll run right through the Vatican. I don't give a fuck. I'll put on some two inch marathon shorts like Harry. Squad, they don't play. They don't play at the Vatican. Fuck that, bro. I got my district visions on.

They wouldn't even see me. The rolling vatties will fucking light you up. Five seconds. It's not sweet for you. I've been in the Vatican and I was walking around and it felt more... frightening than like when you're in you know a dean like you felt like everyone is watching you from like cameras that we don't even know exactly it felt like like we were in the the catholic dome i believe that a hundred percent you ever get some catholic dome i believe god damn it this this is not red scare stop uh i i think that the um i think that the they give catholic dome they don't get it the speed running thing is pretty cool i i it's it feels it feels like a victimless kind of Like it makes the Scientology guys in the blue polo shirts.

Unfortunately, they dress like me. Kind of like. seem just so stupid. Anyone would look confused. If that happened to anyone, you're going to look stupid because it's confusing. You know what I mean? But they look extra stupid because they're dressed like they're going to fourth grade and their mommy's walking them down the street. You flippin' stop it! No, you guys! So when a streamer in Yeezy sprints by in the middle of the day, they look so confused, which is the whole point. It's funny. But, I mean, because what can they do?

All they can do is, like, tackle you and kick you out. They're not going to call the cops and say, what, you ran into a building? And the Scientology building is, like, on Hollywood Boulevard where, like, the police there are so beyond jaded. Like, they're only responding to active murders. Ask Chris Chang. His offices are there. Every day, he's like, oh, the machete guy's back or whatever. All that happens. Here's seven 14-year-olds wearing Pikachu costumes running down a hallway. We'll get to that when we get to that. This could heal the nation because all of these teens, they have no outlet for anything except for electric bicycles that go 70 miles an hour.

Put these motherfuckers on those bikes. and speed run them through all these places that suck yeah who who cares like who this is completely this is honestly this is a great example of what should be streaming should be used for something completely stupid and funny that doesn't really like no one cares about Scientology no one's like don't do that to them that's mean you know what I mean it's like it's not punching down it's like one of the world's weirdest worst organizations that people have been trying to figure out since the beginning of time so like we're not going to get to the bottom of it and Tom Cruise is never going to talk all we can do is have a 14 year old run as fast as he can through the front doors that are open because they're trying to recruit people this is not like there's no they're gonna get you for this it's good it's good shit it's true it's good i mean go speed run the apple offices get to fucking jobs his desk he gives you a high five and some new air max pros damn you did a kid that was swag somebody's gonna do something cool so this is gonna happen to somebody and they're gonna be like oh man sit down let me get you a pizza big bro it's gonna be it's gonna be something no like i said Speed run the Condé offices.

I got all the way to Wintour's desk. And guess what? Yeah, I got the internship. Yeah, exactly. I got the invite to the first night of Devil Wears Prada 2. And I got a selfie with Sam Hine on the way out. Speed running? The problem is now somebody's going to monetize speed running. It's going to be like, all right, I'm speed running for a brand. I'm going to speed run. No, I'm speed running for a cause, brother. Well, obviously we're all. This is my 5K speed run. for PETA. God damn it.

Where are you going to run? The furriers? Where do you even go? No, no, no. I'm going to, on behalf of the Wagyu Beef Council, I'm going to speed run the PETA office. Spray those motherfuckers down with real blood. I just think this is going to, because I think there's an interview with the speedrunner. This one's for Big Angus. I haven't seen it yet, but I feel like I saw something where somebody interviewed him after it. and like talked about it which i would love to hear because i didn't wait interviewed who after what interviewed the speed runner after he had been caught like the guy who did the science because there's other ones but the scientology is the one that went viral at least for that's not what i've seen i'm sure there's several because everyone else everyone when you see the video come up you're like

This I want to watch now. Yeah, it's perfect. I want to see what's going on inside of that fucking creepy ass office. Nothing warms my heart more when the internet is used the way it's supposed to be used. And it's so rare where it's something that's just straight up funny and doesn't hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone. It's just stupid funny stuff. And this is a very modern example of that, I feel. Yeah, and if you're one of those stupid teens listening to this right now and your life isn't going well and you're doing bad, dumb stuff, channel that and just put it towards stuff that sucks right now and we'll try to give you more more ideas but stick with religions first and then you can kind of work your way in the pharmaceutical world you know if you're if you if you if you end up getting into to uh you know pfizer just grab jason some xanax on the way out but they might pop you they might pop you for that that's the problem you know eli lily might see if they got any new shit any new shit that ain't out yet you know Dude, I told you, when I was in LA, I went to the CVS on Santa Monica and La Cienega, and they had all these signs about no longer stocking promethazine.

Like, don't rob us. We don't have it. Vibes. I walked by the pharmacy section. There were three cardboard signs. They didn't print out a piece of paper and tape it up. They manufactured signs to say, we don't got lean no more. Please leave us alone. They hired a graphic designer. No, 100%. An in-house graphic designer at CVS definitely made this. It's crazy. It reminds me of, I'm sure some of our Oakland listeners, Oakland, California, Bay Area listeners can remember when, you know. People just started rolling all their windows down when they'd parked their car in a bad neighborhood so that people could go in through, open up all the glove compartments and see that there's no shit without having to smash their window.

People would have to replace their car windows multiple times per week so that everyone would just leave their windows rolled down, cars unlocked, just like... The worst thing that could happen is you're just going to take a nap in here. I remember that phase. I remember that phase. Same kind of vibe. Once a week on Instagram, somebody's car gets robbed in San Francisco. All my gear was in my car. Whether it was photo gear, whether it was music gear, whatever the gear was, it's always stolen. That was even before AI.

Yeah, whatever. Anything. It's always stolen. Laptop, it's gone. This is gone. That's gone. Never fails. Never fails. Now it's like they stole my coaster. They stole my empty sight glass cup. Not my sight glass mug. That's my favorite mug. Speaking of mugs, let's talk about your boy, Drake. He's on the internet because this doll is refreshed and his body is on fleek. All of his injections are tea. What do you think about this, Chris? Is Iceman season finally thought out? This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace.

Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues. Obviously. Maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school.

And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early.

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So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at com. Have you noticed how good his body and face are looking? Dude, Iceman's here, baby. It's go time. May 15th. I'm counting down, obviously. That's not what I asked you, Chris, and you know that. I mean, look, I never think Drake's face or body looks bad, so I couldn't tell the difference. I mean, some people are saying that he dissolved his abs, which I'm not really sure if that's how that works, but I'm no doctor.

I'm no Terry Dubrow, but I don't think it works like that. Try my 30-minute ab dissolver routine. I don't know if Drake... I think that this is... if this isn't good it's going i mean the thing with this this discourse is that he had like a major hit record whatever but just no one cared about it but it was huge you know what i mean like since the beef nokia yeah like i'm not listening that shit but it was one of his biggest if not biggest records ever or something you know what i mean i think i think it's a big on tiktok so it's like what you know he's not obviously he's not but this has to be the thing that he's got to do besides uh make sure his botox is up to date is not talk about kendrick lamar ever again That is the key to moving forward for everyone.

There's no rap number one song in two years or whatever. It's because you have to just move on. Just act like it never happened. There's no reason. If you don't talk about it, people will stop talking about it. I really believe that. I really, really believe that. Take the high road. I don't know if you can do it. I don't know if he can do it. Because he needs to channel his inner Canadian powers, because the Canadians often always do take the high road in a conflict, right? They bow down, move on, non-confrontational.

Well, I don't know about all that, but I mean, sometimes, yeah, in theory... I'm thinking macro, you're thinking a little bit more in and around your living room. Sometimes they have a point. Let me just say sometimes they have a point, and I agree with them often, you know what I mean? And I like to do chores and stuff, but I don't know. Yeah, I think that... If he completely ignored it and just put out a great record with some sporty produced bangers, if he gets Boy Wanda on it, everybody will be happy.

That's all people want. He could single-handedly bring rap music back to the charts. No question. He's the only person. All of his work with YG, let's wake that up a little bit. He had so many little mid-tempo. club bangers for the thoughts as well as for the gang members. The problem is there's no viral regional hits for him to hop on anymore. There's no Migos. There's no Blockboy JB. You know what I mean? There's none of that anymore. I mean, maybe there is. He's going to have to hop on a fucking Olivia Dean song if he wants to get in the...

I read something. There hasn't been a rap song in the top 10 in like a year. No, that's real. No, that's very real. And you can feel it. I mean, it's like we've moved from hip-hop to country and now it's like geese season. It's like rock season. That's where we're at in popular music to some extent. My girl Ella, as an Ella's fella, number one, that's a hit. Ella is a good example of what I think Drake needs to return to because everyone claims to know he needs to get back to the old Drake or whatever, but nobody's telling him exactly what elements of the old Drake he needs to return to.

because there's so many petals on his flower. What is your favorite Drake? Because my favorite Drake is probably the future. That album is probably the one that I could listen to the most. Drake and Future's album, What a Time to Be Alive from 2015, 11 years ago. I remember where I was. I stayed up. That's the thing. That's the last time he would premiere those on his Apple radio show. People would stay up. That shit does not happen anymore at all. I remember DJing at the hip-hop club at Los Globus and even...

Even like Plastic Bag, even like the slow songs that are not the club bangers would go off. Like you would play Big Rings, you'd play Jumpman, Diamond Dancing, Digital Dash, like all the bangers. But even Plastic Bag would just go off. Dude, Big Rings will make me put my head through a wall right now. That shit absolutely rocks. Okay, so you like when Future was linked up with Drake, that was, I mean, you know. I can't disagree with you. It's like when Cherry and Dr. Pepper linked up. Good things happen.

Exactly. Great way to put it. Thank you for that. Whoever decided to put sour cream and onions together. You're crazy for that one. What I think Drake hasn't done in a while that he needs to get back to, when he was at his peak, he was being hyper-specific about... his perverted advances towards women, he would name these young women by name. We didn't forget about her. We didn't forget. Okay. We haven't forgot. I mean, obviously, you know, the Rihannas and the this and the Millie Bobbies and whatever. He would call hotties out by name and mention them in songs.

So if he, you know, if he's talking about... Whoever the hotties are now, the Dua Lipas, the Olivia Deans. If he had a song where he's like, I want to fuck Sabrina Carpenter like a whatever. I want to fuck Sabrina Carpenter like an animal over the Nine Inch Nails beat. If he was just talking about, I'm trying to fuck on Sabrina. I'm trying to fuck on Rodrigo, whatever it is. Yeah, that was a time. I was thinking more Courtney from Hooters on Peachtree just because that touches my soul, but most people don't know Courtney.

Most people don't know Courtney, but it, but it serves the same. It does serve the same purpose where it like, yeah, if he was just like absolutely a hundred percent thirsting over like a pop star people, and he's just nasty with it. People would like that. You're right. Sabrina Carpenter is a good example. Cause she's nasty with it too. Like she would be, she would be down for that. I think she would be down for that sort of public, uh, back and forth. You know, this is a good idea. Jason fucking on, uh, fucking on Jenny.

Fucking on Dua. Fucking on Halsey. If he had a song about like, I'm trying to get, I'm trying to Eiffel Tower Lord and Zara Larson. Boom, you know, straight to the top. Madison Beer in the sheets. Madison, I got Madison Beer. Madison Beer ain't going to work because he's actually. Bridal Path. I got, I got Beer in Bridal Path. No, he popped. He popped already. He can't, you can't, it can't be, it needs to be someone so white and not, and not really realistic that it really feels like, like Haley from Paramore.

Or something. Like, let's go really far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go really far with it. Got Dome from Rina Sawamina. It used to almost be a rite of passage. You know what I mean? Like, that was part of it. Man, Drake, goddamn, bro. Don't even give me Star Redemption. Oh, that's my shit. That's the one I like when he sings. If Iceman comes out, track 17 is called Gracie Abrams. So just imagine what that would do on Spotify first day out. He just sons Paul Mezcal in the first verse. He says, bro, come on, Paul.

You ain't got money like me. You're a beetle. I'm a black beetle. I don't know if, I mean, I don't know what. It's definitely finished. I mean, it comes out in two weeks. I mean, I know rappers like to take it out of the last second, but I feel like it's probably finished. Yeah, I saw all the brand guidelines. It's got to be close, right? Young people are like, fuck a rollout. I'm like, dude, guys, it's fine. Drake's 39 years old. Let him tease it for two weeks, for Christ's sake.

Let him tap the tongue for a little bit before he throws it in. Yeah, I just don't feel like it. I'm not asking him to. The ice thing was funny. Building that huge thing is funny, actually. and I don't I just like you can't you gotta let him do that it's not like he I mean it's not bringing out Theo Vaughn at stagecoach but it's it's close enough for him yeah let bad man have a have a chilly spectacle one time I just want to look guys I just want to have a chilly spectacle to release my album that's all I want just leave me leave me be just let me do my thing god damn it I'm ready though I'm ready because if it's good if it's good it's gonna really be a thing like if it's even I would say if it's even 50% as good as the music that we're talking about that he made, people are going to lose their fucking minds because it's so dry.

We're in the Sahara. for this kind of show. And hopefully he can rewrite the, take the word ice back from the right, right? I think that's what he's trying to do because this is, you know, he might not be as aware, even though he lives in Houston, you know, he's Canadian, he might not be as aware of the problems we're having down here and the power that word holds. Yeah, and also these Canadians, their relationship to ice and frigid temperatures, it hits a much closer to home, down to the bone.

Hugely, oh, hugely different. It's in my GNA. I'm very sorry, but it's in my GNA. I just needed to tell you this. It's absolutely in my DNA because up in Hamilton, where I grew up in Hamilton, it gets fucking cold, okay? I mean, it gets fucking freezing up there all winter long. It's fucking cold. So, you know, we got to do what we can there. Okay, you mentioned Theo Vaughn. He was DJing with Diplo at Stagecoach and Waka Flocka and Sidney Sweeney, I guess. Do you know what's going on with Stagecoach?

Because I remember like a year or two ago. everyone was like y'all low-key stagecoach is like better than coachella and i feel like that they had like two one one and a half years of that and now well i mean the gods of indie rock struck stagecoach down with a violent wind so they had to like close it down last night we hope rebecca black is oh yeah country artist rebecca black is okay people are mad at zach bryan he's like you fucking idiots look at this and there's like a picture where it's like giant bolts of lightning above the stage and like a full sandstorm he's like what the fuck am i supposed to do this ain't up to me you bozos i mean i think that this has to do with the i think country got so popular and then it got sort of co-opted and then it was everyone who was like likes it a little bit, but is also sort of like Coachella is for...

You know, like Coachella's lib, LGBTQ, the XX. I'm not into that. I'm into fucking, I don't even know who plays stagecoach, but it's not that country, is it? Not so much anymore. I mean, besides Diplo, but even the headliners. It's not like the headliners is Dierks Bitly. Yeah, it's like Post Malone is playing today. But yeah, they have like Hootie and Journey and Pitbull, Ludacris, Teddy Swims. It's basically just Coachella for like... I would say middle ground people who think Coachella is for teenagers. Okay, middle ground people. Are you talking about that's in terms of age or in terms of coolness?

No, in terms of political beliefs. I'm saying it's like Coachella is definitely the fun, we're going to do drugs, young Hollywood, liberal vibes, indie, fuck ice, pin. you know and then stagecoach is a little more like blue lives matter i got 24 miller ultra miller you know michelob ultras in the cooler and the yeti in the in the in the big jeep i'm not i'm look you guys like i'm cool with gay people i just i don't know any but i'm cool with it type people type people you know what i mean because because like

sydney sweeney is the ultimate version of that where it's like she's not ever going to say anything actually fucked up but you just everybody just puts it on her and she doesn't deny it and it works it's kind of like fine for her but yeah her sitting on scooter scooter bronze shoulders is something else i'll tell you what you guys are too old for that shit yeah i mean i i know that it's something beyond stagecoach like like you said it's become so much more than just country music version of coachella now it's just like kind of everything like is it is it just you know coachella for more basic people or coachella for the rest of the people or is it like coachella for people who just don't i think i think it's not simpletons but you know i mean i just think it's like an easier an easier thing to like they're not stage coaches is fastball down the middle based on what you just told me i mean you know it's like i could go to that and have you and i could go to that and enjoy it yeah it's just it's not sure totally our thing whereas like i could go to coachella and probably enjoy it more You know what I'm saying?

I think all of these things are just about experience now, and the music is sort of secondary, but you have to align with one or the other. unless you're diplo oh yeah i mean we would we can go there and watch you know like third eye blind and the wallflowers are playing you know yeah it's sick book in that with the with the t-pain dubstep country dj set i would i would honestly that what you just said i'm not unhappy what you just said to me appeals to me more than peggy goo in sahara or whatever like reality like actually you know what i mean like the wallflowers and third eye blind i would rather see than almost all bands that played coachella yeah and that's i mean i'm i'm you know that's my personal taste obviously but i just mean like that isn't country music at all like not even a little bit like you know what i mean that that's just like alternative rock from a different era which is fine i mean that's you know but i think it all needs a i think that like i guess stagecoats did a good job of being able to sort of like i mean coachella did too coachella used to be beck and now it's sabrina carpenter

Like all of these things just sort of like bob and weave. Yeah, Coachella used to be like, we have this tent is for turntablism and scratching, and now it's K-pop, K-pop, K-pop. Yeah, so it's like all of these things sort of shape-shift depending on what the market demands and people. I think Coachella is such an established brand. Like we always talk about, it sells out before, you know, it doesn't matter. Like it just sells out before. Has it been around for so long, whatever, 25 years now or whatever it is?

Has it been around so long that they now have to consider booking for all these people and their children? Are they like, is that what they're focusing on to try and make sure that they sell out every year before announcing the lineup? I think every festival would love to sell out before. You know, I think every festival, the goal is... But I mean, is that what they're trying to do? Like book some, you know, some older legacy stuff? I think it's also... Or is it just all for the Youngs? I think it's just a little bit of who's available and how much money we got, honestly.

I think it's a little bit... I think it's more about that than it is about the actual taste curation, I guess, because now it's so big, it's like there's something for everybody. You know what I mean? No matter how much of a fucking... No matter what you're into, you could buy that ticket if you want to go, and there's at least one or two things you want to see every day, no matter what. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't really, if you want to go do drugs with your friends and just have fun, who cares?

It's like, yeah, there's at least, if I don't care about Superior Copper, there's something else I care about. You know what I mean? So it doesn't really matter. I think that's what's so interesting about that, and I think that's what you get from sticking around for so long, is that it's a cultural thing. It almost has nothing to do with the music. Okay. Well, what do you think about the Forum Festival in Arcosanti, Arizona? It looks very good. So I guess to put things in terms, you know, like if Coachella is, you know, a huge, you know, video like a CNN or a huge platform and then Form is like the TBPN of festivals, just a small audience in comparison, but a lot of heavy hitters on there.

You know, what is the future of Form? What is the purpose of it? For our listeners at home, it's like a music festival, 2,000, you know, 2,500 attendees, no overlapping sets. And they have Lorde, Turnstile, Geese, Blood Orange, Disclosure, you know, like a very good, cool, interesting lineup. We've got, we even got the Cooties and Fuckers and Fifi's. The key to that, I think the key to that is that it's so small. So it can never feel like if you're, you know what I mean? It feels like a very different thing at that scale.

And if you can't, if you make that bigger, it just becomes, then it's just another festival. Okay, so how do they control it? I mean, obviously the location is so remote. How do they? How do they make sure that only cool people who want to be here... Well, you can't do that. I mean, I think they have to do something because when you have, you know, big groups on like Turnstile and Lorde who sell out stadiums, how do you not have 2,500 Lorde fans buy a ticket with their online bots every day?

You know, like how do you... Because you're putting it in the middle of nowhere, first of all, in like a psychedelic place that I think a lot of... people would not want to go to and i also think that fest i mean i think that festival in its own way is also a brand like i think it is i mean you're right like getting these headliners to do like big headliners to do it because they think it's cool i i mean i don't know i i don't know the answer but i mean i think it's like a pretty it's a cool idea like it sounds that sounds actually fun the thing that imogen does in san francisco that also sounds fun like i don't even though i don't like any of that music it sounds fun Like it sounds cool.

The lineup is good. It feels small. Everything looks good. You know what I mean? I just think that's the, I think it's basically going to, I think what we're going to get to a point, it's going to be like, like that kind of shit. And then the thing, Newport, like that kind of stuff with all the history. And then it's going to be Lollapalooza, Coachella, Bonnaroo. And some of this other stuff, you know, is just going to go away. Cause it's like, I know that people love Kilby block party or whatever, and their lineups are really good, but I just don't know.

I mean, I just don't know how long we can keep doing festival after festival after festival with basically the same lineup and people and all of them work. I just don't, I don't know how that's possible. So, so the forum festival three days, 2,500 person micro festival in, in Arizona, each ticket is basically a thousand dollars. You get car camping, complimentary beverages all weekend, including alcohol, access to all the stages and everything, a tote bag full of goodies. There's no VIP areas. There's no overlapping sets. Everyone is all in the same zone.

I mean, that's cool. It's cool, but... No, well, the thing that's going to keep people out is a $1,000 ticket price. I mean, even though I know Coachella is that much, whatever. But then the problem is only people that can afford... These expensive tickets come in, so it's just anyone who has $1,000. And also, that means the total ticket revenue, the total revenue period is $2.5 million. So then you have to convince all of these bands who are on tour all the time to come play for basically free. I mean, they clearly have, though.

It works. I mean, I think it's just like... I think also when you do festivals all the time, you're like, this actually sounds like a good one, and it makes sense for our routing. Let's fucking do it. Like, it's cool. No, it's cool. Like, why not? I'm either going to be in a fucking, you know, a hotel parking lot with five buses, you know what I mean? Or I can go play this thing that's cool with people I like. I think that's a, I don't know, to me, that actually appeals to me.

I probably wouldn't camp in a car, but the rest of it. But does everyone play for free? Does Zach Fox play for free as well? I don't know. I don't think anybody's playing for free. I'm sure there's sponsors involved. There's a way to get that done and the ticket price feel premium without being like... Because you could, in reality, for what you just described, you could charge $2,500 and people would pay it and sell it in an hour. I agree. I agree. So $1,000 for that is pretty reasonable considering it.

Yeah, also, I'm looking at the website and they have the Spotify Fresh Finds stage available to check out new independent artists. Hey, bro, they're paying for half of it, at least. Question answered. But, I mean, that's smart. Spotify should be a part of something like that. Spotify can't make an impact at a big festival. No one knows what's going on. You know what I mean? No one gives a fuck. Yeah. All right, well, we're going to gas up the jet. We're going to fucking Arizona. Yeah, if anyone wants to bring us out to do a live podcast or a DJ set.

Imagine. Okay, so did you guys take your mushrooms yet? All right, well, I just need to say thank you to the Edition Como family. for the weekend is oh yeah what happened i didn't even know you were going to lake como chris what's up with that well i was in milan for the salone and then it was the they planned it so basically that like if anybody that was they were going to invite with you know was in milan it's an hour drive from this which i didn't realize it was that close it was only an hour i didn't know that it's like an hour and it took this morning to get to malpenza from Como, it was like an hour and five minutes.

With traffic, it'll be like an hour and a half, but it's really close, actually. I didn't realize either. Bravo. But yeah, it was nice. The hotel opened like last week or whatever, and I was sort of on the, I was like, I don't really know how an addition fits in like Como, you know what I mean? Same. But the room was sick, and the pool was super nice, and it was like, you know, it's the whole thing. It's just like, it's pretty, I actually was, because when we stay at Villa Deste, it's like grounds, you know what I mean?

It's like grand, and there's all these gardens and shit, which is really nice. But this is like in the city. So it's, I don't know. It's like you're looking at the lake and you cross the street to go to the pool. You know what I'm saying? It's floating in the lake. I don't know. It was nice. We had a good time. Okay. I know exactly what you're talking about. When I was in Como, it was the same kind of vibe. And you're like, I'm going to walk down across the street to like the beach area.

Yeah. You can go to like a restaurant or go to get a coffee. It's like normal where some of those other places you're like fucking behind a gate and you need a car to go do anything, which I both have merit, obviously, for different reasons. You know what I mean? I love the addition family. I'm not a big Lake Como fan personally, but I'm sure it's a- enjoyable and dude for three for three days it's amazing if you're in milan and it's for two days or three days it's pretty great and the weather was it was prime time it was like 70 degrees sunny and it was uh it was a pretty funny crew too like jürgen was there with the fucking pink shorts and the blazer for the big party which i was i was like it's not that warm big dog did you build with jurg oh yeah we built we built with everybody it was a fun it was a it was small it was like 30 people so it was a pretty good like john paulson was there jürgen was there

Julia Hobbs was there. Who else was there? I made a new friend. Osman was there. But yeah, it was a fun. It was a good crew. It was a good small. But I just, you know, when people are like, let's take the boat. Let's get on a boat. I'm always like, what are we going to do? And then Alex really wanted to go on the boat. I'm like, all right, we'll go on the boat. Everybody, you know, it was whatever. It was fine. We were on the boat. And it was like, you know, it was 45 minutes.

And I was like, you know what? This was good. 45 minutes on the boat because the lake was too cold to swim in. It's like freezing. So it's like you can't stop and jump in and get back. I've done that same boat ride except we had to pay for it. I mean, no, I have two. No, same, same. No, same. That's what I'm saying. It's much better. And our driver was hot, which several people on the boat were happy about. You mean your captain? Yeah, I mean, captain is a strong word.

What about a ski band? A ski band? I didn't look at his credentials. I didn't look at his credentials. But yeah, he seemed qualified enough. You know what I mean? These guys are just doing their thing. Capitano. Yeah, but I'm happy to be back. I was gone for like two weeks. I went from Virginia to LA to Milan to Como. which is a twisted little itinerary. That's you and Pharrell, the only people on that same run. Yeah, dead ass. Where's my speedy, bitch? I'm on the Pharrell flight. Come on now.

I'm on the Pharrell path. TSA has mishandled my carrot bag and I'm filing a claim right now. Here we go again, these fucking guys. Yeah, but it was, I just, the weather, I'm just, New York winter has been so bad and I feel like I... Tomorrow is going to be nice and the rest of the week. I just feel like I was on a good run. Virginia was beautiful. LA was beautiful. I had a good run. I'm upset, but here we are. We'll survive. Run done now, bitch. You got to hang out in your dumb house that was recently featured on How to Spend It.

The Financial Times first and best column every week. Your favorite as well. How did it feel to be featured in your favorite? publication i mean i really do think that's the best so i was pretty happy i mean it's i'm i'm very happy of course and i mean i just think that like it's so i forget the newspapers are so thorough you know what i mean like there was like a i talked to charlie the guy who wrote it who i know a little bit you know talked to him for probably an hour and a half like a month and a half ago you know what i mean and then the fact checking was multiple emails where it was really funny because joe like included it in her letter or her letter from the editor And they were like, so would you describe, would you say that you live in a concrete box with not many furnishings?

And I was like, well, I don't know if that's necessarily a fact. Who the fuck said that? Yeah, I was like, I don't think that's super accurate. We do have a full, you know, it is concrete floors, you know what I mean? But that part was really funny. It was like multiple emails, like about also like funny, like. How would you describe? Like they wanted me to really get into the nitty gritty of what Joe Budden talked about. Cause I mentioned that was the podcast I listened to. And I was like, guys, I can't, I don't even know how to your, your readers are already going to think I'm a dumb ass.

So I don't know how they're going to even, whatever I say about Joe Budden is going to go right. I love the sweet irony of you finally being featured in the financial times. And they want to ask you about the Joe Budden podcast. Well, I, well, I taught, I, it's my fault. I fucking, I'm the one who said it. And they were like, we need more detail. And I'm like, well, guys, I don't really know if you want more detail. Honestly, I can't even. I don't know where to start. Sometimes more detail is bad.

Old school music is always a vibe. That's what you need to know in financial times. It's so funny you said that because the reason that's the name of the episode is because he DMed some hot chick back because she had a song in her and his girlfriend got mad at him. Okay, so if you see a baddie posting. posting a song from the 70s you know the temptations or you know that's literally smoky robinson and then you reply hey old school music is always a vibe that's literally what happened that's literally what happened it's so fucking funny it just killed me because it does sound like a fake it just sounds like a sentence you would say to make fun of someone it really it really sounds like something you would say as a joke in his mind he's like

guaranteed panty dropper. She's either going to reply with her phone number, hotel room number, or nudes. I don't know which one. Or all three, probably. I don't know. I believe that it did conclude with her leaving him on read, which made me feel good, actually, that it did not work. The freedom that he flows through life, making millions of dollars a year, talking about how his wife gets mad at him for trying to fuck other girls on Instagram. And that's what you, that's how you pay your mortgage. I mean, I don't think, I don't think he, that's the thing.

I don't think he's even really trying to, he just can't help himself. You know, I think he just can't. He's just, he's just, he's just trying to talk. You know what I'm saying? He just wants to make friends. And that probably enables his, his. philandering even more so. Black men don't cheat though. That's something I've learned. This cheating bought that Hermes. This cheating keeping the light bill on. You want me to stop cheating? I'll have nothing to talk about. Then we'll have to move back to the one bedroom. We're going to move back.

He's been building a $10 million house for five years. They might still be in the one bedroom for all I know. com is the website. We're back next week with some more podcasts. podcasts uh thank you for joining me today jason and um pleasure pray for pray for you know the white house and everybody in washington you know i'm saying i hope you guys fetterman i hope you got your little plate fetterman i hope you got your plate i know you were wearing shorts i didn't i couldn't see your legs in the picture but i'm just gonna assume you kept it 100 even when you're in washington um thank you guys my good hoodie to that one good hoodie thank you guys for listening uh we really appreciate it and we will talk to you next week au revoir get a plastic bag go ahead and pick up all the cash go ahead and pick up all the cash you danced all night girl you deserve it get a plastic bag go ahead and pick up all the cash go ahead and pick up all the cash you danced all night girl you deserve it oh yeah The right window treatments change everything.

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